Bingle

Tuesday:

My dad and his girlfriend went off to visit dad's brother today (but saying he would definitely be back for dinner), so I took the kids to the awesome Pod Playground at the arboretum.

A lot of the instalments look like giant acorns.

And it is all set within the lovely rolling hills and baby trees of the arboretum, next to the café where I like to write.

I spent most of the time walking slowly around and around the playground. It was a bit of an obstacle course, with running kids, crying kids, squealing-with-excitement kids, parents with prams, parents chasing wind-blown hats, parents blocking the path chatting to other parents, fed-up parents juggling a sleeping baby and a screaming toddler while looking for their older child to tell them it was time to go home, abandoned toddler shoes, children falling over, parents chasing toddlers, parents taking photos of their kids (I was one of those) ... so I managed to walk 2 km in 45 minutes.

 

It was a lovely sunny day. The only fault I have with this playground is that there is no shade for parents at all (and not enough benches). The kids get shade inside all the acorns and little huts, but it is still a bit exposed. Scorching hot in summer and freezing in winter. But nice in spring! I certainly feel like I've got enough sun for the day.

 

Then as I was pulling out of my parking space, chatting to the children and not paying enough attention, I did this to the car next to me:

Long scrape. That is my gold paint on her dark blue. I didn't hear or feel it at all, but I saw the horrified face of the other owner who was still with her car!  It was her husband's work car. She got all my details. I have never gone through this process before, I assume my insurance pays for all or some of the repair. Our car got a mark too,

but I'm sure we won't bother doing anything about it. Of course I am not happy about having done this, but I really and truly am glad that if I had to have some kind of accident it was just a little scrape with no one hurt and no major damage or inconvenience. And a nice non-abusive woman to deal with.

Up and cleaning

Monday:

I woke up feeling much better today. It's so nice to feel well again! It is a glorious day outside, too, but unfortunately I haven't had time to go out into it. After four days of me mooching around doing nothing, on top of the usual mess of this house, it was a pigsty. And dad and his partner are visiting this afternoon! So I've basically spent the whole day cleaning. The kids were a big help, and as it was a public holiday Tim stayed home until lunchtime and did lots. Then he went into work because he has so much to do this week. I also got to do the shopping which means we have food in the house again. Yay!

It's been lovely having my family home again. It was lonely without them on the weekend. I do work from home so I'm alone part of each day but I'm used to the kids getting home from school and of course Tim being here in the evening. It's different when they're away a whole weekend. I feel better just having them here. And having a clean house helps too.

... (later) It is going to be a long few days. When dad was leaving his place this morning (at least six hours away) he said he was going to be here for afternoon tea. So I had some fruit and biscuits laid out and restrained the children and waited and waited and let the kids eat a bit and waited some more and got very hungry then dad called and said they were resting at their hotel and wouldn't be here until dinner. Sigh. And he doesn't know if he's going to be here for dinner tomorrow or not, depending on if his brother wants him to go there so I had to plan a flexible menu that could expand to a couple of extra people or not, as needed. And I'm really not very flexible about this stuff. I am a planner. I like to know what is coming up. To the best of my knowledge he'll be here most of Wednesday to come to Floriade with us and see the flowers.

...  (later) They came for dinner and Trivial Pursuit and bedtime stories for the children. It's been a tiring day for someone just up from their sickbed. Ok, that is exaggerating a little. Sick-chair in front of the TV. Not that there was much on TV. I read a lot. But ... whatever I was saying. Bedtime.

Whoops too cranky

Sunday:

I just wrote, and half an hour later deleted, a very cranky post. Sorry about that. What made me remove it was that in the meantime I went and put a tactless comment on someone else's post which I then felt embarrassed about! So I'm just as bad.

Said a bit more calmly, my post was asking for people to please not repeatedly push their beliefs on me. I know they are trying to give helpful advice. But I feel like I have said often and often that I don't agree with them, and I respond to their comments (which they probably never see), yet they keep pushing and it upsets me. I don't like being upset on my own blog. But I don't want to be cranky about it and alienate everyone else.

I blame it on the tummy bug. (A virus, not an inability to digest grains.)

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Shark thoughts

Saturday:

We were supposed to drive to Sydney last night, a 3.5--4 hour journey, but because I was unwell we decided to wait until this morning and leave early. We needed to get there by 11 today. I went to bed at 7:30 last night, before the kids, to give myself the best chance. Unfortunately this morning I was still feeling sick, so they had to go without me. I am a bit disappointed, I'll be missing some fun stuff and I also worry about Tim having to do all the driving alone, but mainly just feeling sick. Not enough to need someone to look after me, I just need to sleep or watch TV, so I am fine with them going.

Today I have four thoughts about food circling like sharks:

1. I don't feel like eating much, just some toast and instant soup will do. We have those. Anything else will probably make me feel worse.

2. Being alone in the house means I can eat whatever I want without anyone knowing. Secret eating.

3. Secret eating is why I am overweight. I need to stop doing that.

4. I wasn't expecting anyone to be home this weekend (and was also too sick for past couple of days) and didn't shop, so there is hardly any food here. Tim has the car. I won't have a lot of choice about what I'm going to eat, unless I feel well enough to walk to the shops, which I don't.

Which takes me back to point 1. You'd think being sick would shut off all the other thoughts about food, but no. I use food as a panacea for everything. Including an upset stomach and sore throat which are part of my current symptoms. I am 100% a comfort eater. Tired, sad, bored, sad, happy, excited, anxious, queasy - food calms and fixes everything! Except it usually doesn't. Except bored. It always fixes bored. Because it's a party in my mouth.

Ok I'm rambling a bit now and I haven't even taken any medication.

Having something to wear, even when you are overweight

Friday:

I hate shopping for clothes, because nothing looks good on me. I don't bother much, until I absolutely have to, like when my jeans wear through at the thighs. I'll wait until I am thin, right?

I was thinking last night about an upcoming "dressy" party and how I have nothing to wear for it. I know I don't still fit into my fancier clothes. I felt quite sad about it. Then I went hunting through my cupboard and found two really dressy tops that I bought a couple of years ago, that still fit me but I had forgotten about over winter. With jeans and boots I'll be ok. Not as formal as I would like to be, but good enough.

I went to bed happy, knowing I had something to wear to the party. And realised that no matter what my current size, I need to have clothes that I am reasonably happy to wear in a variety of situations. Not just a T-shirt. Something that fits the occasion, not just my stomach. I can't put off buying clothes forever, waiting to be perfect. I have to live now, as I am, and make the best I can of how I am at the moment. Shopping can be hard, and depressing, and I am still not going to do it very often, but I need to make sure I have what I need. Like maybe something other than blue jeans to go with my pretty tops and boots.

I was feeling a bit unwell yesterday and today I feel awful. I seem to lurch from one illness to the next at the moment. I can't use my CPAP most nights because of a blocked nose and sore throat and sometimes nausea, all of which having air blown up your nose makes worse. And being tired and run down doesn't help me get better quickly. But I'll manage it in the end. I always do.

Update

Thursday:

You may have guessed from my lack of communication on the subject lately that my weight loss isn't going so well. I refuse to stop blogging, I am not going to disappear just because I'm eating way too much of all the wrong things, but I tend to avoid that particular subject when I'm not doing well. Time for an update.

I am walking a little bit most days. Not anywhere near what I should be doing at my fitness level. I was really concentrating on writing, and very excited about that, so I don't actually regret taking that time to write instead of exercise. But I need to increase now (while still working on reviewing my book as well). My health is important.

Another reason I've been staying inside with the doors closed during some lovely spring weather is that a particular weed is flowering profusely all over the area and giving me bad hay fever. I don't get hay fever often, but this Capeweed stuff seems to get right up my nose, as it were. A friend of mine has had to keep her son home from school he is so badly affected, so it's not just me. Headaches, sore throat, foggy head, runny nose. And I'd just got over my cold! But I'm better as long as I don't go outside, and hopefully the flowering season won't be too long or people will mow down the flowers or something (it's a daisy-like weed that infiltrates lawns and the school is blanketed in it, the oval is a sea of yellow). Today is raining anyway, and I plan to dance inside the house.

My food has been bad. And the scales are reflecting that. Up a bit more each week. It's a nasty shock each time I weigh myself. Or see a photo. And I look terrible in the face, although that is more hay fever than fat. I am not liking how I look or feel at the moment.

As usual at this stage, I am torn between the two extremes of an unsustainable punishing regime to lose weight quickly and a more gentle small-changes approach that won't work fast enough to motivate me.

We are in the last week of school term before two weeks of holidays. In the first week we already have planned a visit to Sydney for a party and to see my mother, my dad and his partner staying here for a few days, and my father-in-law and his partner staying here for a different few days. The whole week will be filled with offering and being offered excessive food. I do plan to make healthy desserts, or some of them at least, and I am responsible for what goes in my mouth, but I'm just saying it will be an additional challenge.

And yet, all this is just one part of my life. I need to make my health more of a priority, but I am very happy about other things. I have written a novel, people!!

Overwhelmed

Wednesday:

A quarter of an hour ago I wrote "The End". I am completely overwhelmed, wonky, in tears. I have wanted to write a book since I was a little girl, and I have finally done it. It still needs months of rewriting and editing and getting other people to Beta read for me but I have done it. I don't know if I really ever believed I could, until a couple of weeks ago. Then I would think about how close I was to the end and feel so excited and proud and uplifted. Now I have actually done it I feel quite different. Overwhelmed is the right word.

Dragonbane by Natalie Maddalena
first draft July 2013 - September 2014

Writing writing writing

Tuesday:

I have been immersed in writing my novel for the past couple of days. On Sunday, walking around Floriade, I was telling my husband I was stuck on a particular issue. As usual he was a great sounding board (sometimes he comes up with awesome ideas I can incorporate, sometimes he asks the right questions so that I work it out myself) and we got that problem solved. So yesterday I sat and wrote the rest of the final climactic scene. It all worked out perfectly. Then in the afternoon I wrote a little more, on the final what-happens-after wrapping up chapter but had to stop due to my RSI. About three hours is my limit for a day if I want to avoid lasting pain.

Today I woke fizzing with ideas of how to wrap up the novel, tying up the loose ends while hinting at a sequel. Unfortunately I couldn't get down to it for while. I had a very busy day, starting with spending time at the school for Aiden's "learning journey" where he shows us things he's been doing all year, shopping and getting a casserole on to slow cook, and it will end with taking Jasmine to her dance class and then hosting games night. I squeezed in half an hour of writing after lunch, at the expense of leaving the house as a pigsty. Oh well; priorities, right?

I am so close to the end! I can taste it. I can't think about anything else.

I have been getting in short walks each day, a kilometre or two. That is all.

Petting Zoo

Sunday:

Today we had a family trip to Floriade. We parked some distance away so with walking there and a slow ramble around and back to the car it was 3.4 km (in 2 hours). Lovely afternoon.

There was a baby animal petting zoo...

And flowers...

And Nerang Pond (an offshoot of Lake Burley Griffin).

In the morning I watched some gardening being done. I was saving my energy for Floriade (lucky I did, I'm still not 100% and it was very tiring) so I just sat in the lovely sun while Tim dug manure into our vegetable bed ready for spring planting, and the kids did some weeding. Mostly of weeds. A few herbs may have suffered. Time to buy some seedlings!

Trumpets in the sun

Saturday:

I had many plans for Friday but I ended up doing none of them. I've been battling a headcold all week (caught from my niece in Sydney on the weekend, I presume, my daughter Jasmine has it too) and I was feeling a bit run down and headachy. And my RSI flared up quite badly. So I did a bit more writing, at home, and then when my shoulder and arm got too sore to continue I just sat around. It was bad enough that I had a glass of Cointreau as muscle relaxant - it works better than all the anti-inflammatory medication I used to take (and with less side effects) but it's not something I do often. Alcohol generally tastes like medicine anyway.

Today our school had a picnic day with some entertainment, including my daughter and the Year 5 band.

She is second from the left. The band is all brass instruments plus a couple of drums (Jasmine plays the trumpet) but every so often they get together with other schools who are all string instruments - it seems to be planned that way with the district.

It was a lovely sunny day, we've only had a few of those so far with our nights still dropping to around freezing, so it was nice to get out. I forgot to turn on RunKeeper for the walk there but remembered for the way home, a bit over a kilometre. I need every step if I'm going to get to 50! I had a nap when we got home then Tim made his beautiful risotto. Very nice day.

Writing

Thursday:

I spent the whole morning writing at the Arboretum café.

I love the view there, and I had a great writing session. I've been really stuck for a couple of weeks on this final climactic scene and I finally decided to just write something, anything, and fix it later. I made some good headway.

 

I tend to write well when I get out of the house and away from distractions, but there are disadvantages too. One is cost. Pay parking is everywhere in Canberra, and the Arboretum is particularly expensive at $2 per hour. Then there is my tea, I feel obliged to buy something while I take up one of their tables for a couple of hours, and a pot of tea there is $4.50. It adds up if I want to go frequently!

 

Then there is the fact that I am there alone so if I need to go to the bathroom I have to pack everything up, and probably lose my table with a prime view. Drinking a pot of tea doesn't help this problem! Generally I call it a day when I need to make a second bathroom trip.

 

Some days, when I have other things to do as well, I struggle to fit in both exercise and writing (giving up something like evening TV to do so is a whole other topic). A lot of people argue for doing something every day to build up consistency. Today I decided if I don't have time for a good session of both, I'll just do one. I do better with a longer period of time on one thing instead of dabbling in too many things. So today was writing, tomorrow is exercise - I have a lap of the lake and another look around Floriade planned.

A stroll through Floriade

Tuesday:

I went for a walk through Floriade, along the lake a bit and back again, sat and had my morning tea amongst the flowers, then home. It was sunny after rain, so very humid. Nice to get outside. Not including sitting time, I walked 4.5 km in an hour.

Not many tulips were out yet, but there were a few. Only yellow, they must be the earliest to flower.

Heartsease are one of my favourite flower. I suppose they are a kind of violet. Also known as Johnny Jump Up, and probably lots of other regional names.

Giant snails. Because, why not?

Weird giant balloon flowers that probably light up for Night Fest. Unless they are jellyfish. Probably flowers. Or jellyfish. Or flowers.

Pansies in wheelbarrows.

 

I didn't do much with the rest of my day because I came down with a horrible headache. I didn't mention it to anyone, just put up with it and doctored myself with Panadol when it got really bad which helped. But then at bedtime Jasmine came down with a bad headache. So it's not just me. Hopefully we'll both fight off whatever it is and be fine tomorrow.

 

We had Dungeons and Dragons tonight, so I had to negotiate that. I had a glass of wine and a couple of squares of chocolate.

 

I've signed up for a RunKeeper challenge to walk/run 50 km in a month, starting on the 18th. Is that a lot? 10 x 5k. 2 to 3 laps of the lake a week. That is do-able. You can win stuff. Spring is the perfect time to be outside in the not too cold/not too hot/just right weather. And (since I find I do worse if I put pressure on myself) if I don't finish the 50 km I will have still done something!

Spending time with mum

Monday:

I had planned to go to Floriade today but I still wasn't feeling well all morning so I didn't. Apart from a quick shopping trip I just rested at home. Felt a lot better by the afternoon.

My post yesterday got a bit long and I didn't talk much about my visit with mum. She's been sick a bit lately but was feeling well while we were there.

She has finally got her head around the thought of moving to a retirement home, which I think is great. She was really resistant to the idea before - she doesn't want to live with old people! But with inoperable breast and bone cancer she is going to need a lot more care as time goes on. She found that there is a retirement village in an area near a lot of her friends so that helped. Her reasoning behind waiting until next February to move was kind of funny though - she'll be finished with a couple of big institutions by then so she won't have to worry about giving them her new address or losing mail! I kept my mouth shut, I'm just happy she's finally thinking about moving.

Another incident typical of my mother was lunch. She is the worst cook in the universe, and now she is unwell she gets us to pick up something on our way there, which we are delighted to do. We brought a rotisserie chicken and since it wasn't lunchtime yet she put it in the oven to keep warm, uncovered. And she wondered why it was dried out and horrible an hour later! She really needs supervision in the kitchen. It has nothing to do with her age or illness, she just can't cook!

My brother is getting some training as a barista and is really enjoying it. He's basically spent his whole life living with mum and getting unemployment benefits, but I can always hope that this will work out and he'll stick to it.

It was a good weekend, but being home in my own bed was lovely.

Comicon or Strictly Ballroom?

Sunday:

On Friday I was feeling defeated and frustrated, and I'll admit I spend the weekend eating whatever I wanted. But I'm ready to give myself a shake and trudge onwards now.

We drove up to Sydney on Friday night. Tim and the kids were going to Comicon along with a lot of Tim's family. I had no interest in that and had originally planned to stay home. But without a dog it was suddenly a lot easier for me to go along and do my own thing and then visit mum the next day. We stayed at my brother-in-law's, which was great except for the horrible guest bed which feels like you're lying on an unpadded concrete slab (their own bed is the same). I didn't sleep well.

Saturday morning they all got dressed up. Pirate husband, superman son and unidentified cute animal (from pokemon maybe?) daughter.

Doing my brother-in-law's Green Arrow make-up. My SIL was Anna from Frozen, her 18 month old daughter (not pictured) was Elsa.

We drove into the city, in two cars, after deciding it was too hard taking the pram on public transport. When we were nearly there Tim realised he'd left his ticket back at the house! He couldn't even turn around for the long drive back because he didn't have a key to his brother's house. He'd have to meet up with them first. The plan was to see if he could buy another ticket, but we didn't know if there would be any left for sale. The kids didn't need tickets, they could get in free. At this stressful point we got to my drop-off spot and after some dithering I got out of the car. Then felt so guilty for leaving him to cope! The worry coloured my next hour or so until I heard that Tim's cousin had had a spare and they eventually got in ok, after a long search for parking.

It was a cold a grey day with some rain, so after wandering through Hyde Park ...

I went into the Natural History Museum. It had skeletons,

And rocks,

And stuffed animals like this seven meter salt water crocodile,

And of course dinosaurs.

I have fond memories of walking through with Aiden holding tightly to my hands. Not scared of the dinosaurs, not really...

Then I went and had lunch at Darling Harbour. Gnocchi with duck ragu. As you can see, the place wasn't busy. It really wasn't very nice weather for strolling along the harbour front.

Ever since I decided to come to Sydney, I had planned that as a special treat I would get an éclair from a favourite chocolate shop - but I couldn't find the place. I was quite disappointed. But then as I headed over to the theatre I found an Adriano Zumbo café right next door. Zumbo is a celebrity dessert chef who has set some particularly fiendish challenges on MasterChef. I bought a slice of chocolate cake there. And then, (I call it a "café" but there were no tables, just a long counter full of pastries) I tried to eat it outside the theatre. A bit messy. I only had a few bites of the actual cake, saving it for later. But I ate the fancy bits off the top - the little passionfruit/honeycomb macaron and the meringue swirl.

Finally it was time for the big event, "Strictly Ballroom". My mum had given me money for my birthday and I hadn't spent it yet so I bought myself a ticket. This show was made into a movie quite a few years ago but I don't know if it was seen outside Australia. It's about defying the strict rules of federation ballroom dancing to do your own steps and follow your heart, and a romance (of course). It was a lot of fun. In a word, exuberant. Even the seats were sparkly.

By the time it was finished, everyone had left Comicon and were nearly home, so I caught the train as we'd planned. Only problem was my phone died! It's weird how helpless I felt without a phone. I wasn't even sure if they still had payphones at the station! Luckily they did, so I was able to call to be picked up from there.

My SIL had planned to go out to dinner with her mother's group (child free) and invited me along. It was a big leap for me, I'm a bit shy with new people and I was tired. But I thought it might be nice, and also meant I could avoid my father-in-law's favourite pastime of arguing about politics. So I went, and had a great time. The other women were lovely, and very welcoming. The food was good too, but the service quite slow so we didn't get home until after 10. The kids were peacefully asleep, the adults had finished discussing politics. I went to bed content after a good day, trying to make the best of the horrible "mattress".

And woke in the dark hours feeling sick and ended up vomiting into a laundry bucket. Urg. I don't think there was anything wrong with the food. Either my recurrent stomach bug, or an inability to cope with two days of rich food.

Felt tired and a bit unwell all today. We went to visit my mother for lunch. The kids built a tent structure out of sticks and giant leaves.

Long drive home. Dinner at a Thai restaurant on the way, which I felt ok at the beginning of and terrible at the end of. And here I am.

Struggles and a gain

Friday:

Official weigh in today.
Last week: 80.7 kg
This week: 81.4 kg

That's right, a GAIN of 0.7 kg (1.5 pounds). My weight went up after my indulgent Saturday last week, and it just never went down again. I weighed myself every couple of days hoping that sticking to my diet would get the weight back off again, but no. It barely fluctuated all week, just stayed up. I didn't expect a big loss like the first week's water weight loss, but I wanted to lose something! A gain? Are you serious?

It is so utterly discouraging. I have never successfully lost weight. True, before my wedding I went on an extremely restrictive and punishing diet (chosen and paid for by my mother) and lost 5 kg (11 pounds) in six weeks, and was miserable every day I was on it. Aside from that, I've never even lost as much as 5 kg. Some of that is failing to stick to diets, but not all. I always lose some water weight in the first week and get all hopeful, but that is about it.

I've tried Weight Watchers and low-carb and no sugar/wheat/soy/dairy/alcohol, and high protein and nutritionist-led and intense exercise.

A blogger I read was recently told that dieting was "easy" for him, which is nonsense. And yet, I guess as someone who can't seem to lose weight at all, it can seem easier for some people. They work hard, they lose some weight. I work hard, I don't.

I was really depressed yesterday. Maybe from knowing I'd gained back half of last week's weight loss and couldn't seem to lose it again, maybe from it being second day of low-carb (low-carb makes me depressed, which is why I am trying carb cycling), maybe a bit lonely without my puppy, who knows. But it wasn't "a bit sad", it was the edge of actual depression. I know what that feels like. I had post-natal depression after my first child, and there is no way I will willingly go back in that black place. In the evening I had some carbs and did think I felt better, I went to bed quite happy and slept well. But I'm miserable again this morning despite carbs with breakfast. So it might not be that at all. I have no idea.

I don't know what to do. I didn't stick to my diet plan for breakfast. I have a busy weekend coming up that I have to get through. Saturday being my treat day makes that easier, except that last week my treat day ruined the whole week's work. Do I keep trying carb cycling? Do I switch to alternating high/low days in case that suits me better than having two low-carb days in a row? Do I give up and eat whatever I want until next time I'm ready to start again? Do I crawl back into bed and stay there with the blankets pulled over my head?

Hot chocolate

Wednesday:

I struggled a bit today, no idea why. I just wanted to eat - I'm sure you all know what that feels like! In the afternoon I ate my snack very early, when I was still full from lunch, and ate too much, but kept to my food plan so I felt I hadn't gone too far off the rails. But then in the evening I had a hot chocolate, which is definitely not on my plan for a low carb day. I wasn't craving anything in particular, and I don't think I was stressed or angry or any of those things that can be an emotional trigger. I was just restless. I was alone in the house, everyone else at karate, and I gave in to the desire for something delicious. It's done, I'm not going to beat myself up about it.

My son was home sick today, but he slept until 10 and then leapt out of bed all bright eyed and bushy tailed. I didn't make him go to school, he wasn't faking being sick earlier and a rare day off won't hurt. I enforced a quiet morning while I worked (he played with his Lego) then let him watch TV in the afternoon. By the time Jasmine got home from school he was running around the house full of energy.

My exercise today was ten minutes of laps inside the house. I walked around the lounge/kitchen loop then jogged up the hall and back. I did 31 laps in the ten minutes. Ten minutes is my promise to myself for this week, even if I don't feel like it.

Breakfast was a slice of roast beef, cucumber, carrot, and 1.5 kiwi fruit (2 shown, I didn't eat it all). And a cup of tea. Still working on getting the sugar below half a teaspoon.

Morning tea was cheese, cucumber and tomato.

Lunch was pulled pork with salad which I put together in lettuce leaves for bite-sized goodness. The amount in the picture was shared with my son. Also a cup of tea.

No picture of my too-much cheese, then cashews and some other nuts, and later a carrot and my third cup of tea for the day. It was spread out over an hour or more of nibbling.

Dinner was steak with mushroom and onion. I made myself a little green salad with Thousand Island dressing and ate a little of it. I'd recently checked the label on a different bottle of dressing and that was high fat/low carb. But after a few bites of this I looked at the label and it was very high carb! Lots of sugar. So I didn't eat it.

Maybe that is why I was still peckish a couple of hours later, and had a hot chocolate.

It was very very yummy and I'm having a hard time regretting it. Good night, all!

High carb day

Tuesday:

It is Wednesday morning, actually, and I somehow forgot to post yesterday. So a quick catch up.

In contrast to the day before, it was cold and dark with intermittent rain. So I stayed inside. The morning didn't start well when my breakfast egg tried to fly and be free. Splat on the floor. I had to start again. I should have got a photo of that, probably more interesting than eggs on toast again!

I did some dancing but felt lacklustre and uninspired. I'm still having occasional queasiness for no apparent reason. I pushed myself to 30 minutes.

Morning tea was strawberries with yoghurt, and a couple of baby carrots.

Lunch was an oven baked chicken breast, potato, cucumber and carrot. It was a high carb day, obviously.

Afternoon tea was a pita pizza with low-fat pepperoni. Very yummy. My phone refused to take a photo, saying its memory was full, which was nonsense. I ate it early, then went to a friend's house after school where I ignored the several types of biscuits on the table and just had a cup of tea and a chat.

Took Jasmine to her dance class, came home to pulled pork and salad in a bread roll. I also had some cucumber on the side. And then picked at some more pork as I put the leftovers away.

I've come to realise that my protein portions are often too large. They are supposed to be the size of the palm of my hand. Since I'm having protein five times a day, I need to watch the portion size a bit more carefully. I weigh myself every couple of days, and my weight went up after my free day on Saturday and has been slowly going down but is still currently higher than my official weight last Friday. I've got two low carb days now to fix that.

A walk in the sunshine

Monday:

This morning I went for a walk around the lake. It was lovely weather, a little cold when the sun went behind a cloud but otherwise good. I didn't hurry, but stopped lots of times to take photos and just enjoy the day.

This is a series of pillars with the names of Australian of the Year since that started. The pillars stand on the five lines of a musical stave, and if you played them as notes it would sound out our National Anthem.

This swan started heading towards me as soon as I stopped to take photos. Was it a particularly vain bird, or just hoping for food?

Part of the path was blocked off but the diversion through the sculpture garden of the art gallery was lovely, well worth the bit of extra distance. I should go that way again.

The carillon looks like a smokestack, but that is just a cloud behind it. The carillon is actually a bell tower that chimes every quarter hour, and they also have regular recitals. It is on its own little island on the lake.

Ducks. Since they look slightly different, I assume a male and a female mated pair. I wonder if there will be little ducklings soon.

Swans in the shade under the spring blossoms. It looked like they were eating grass. Do they? I know geese eat grass.

My total walk was 5.64 km in 1 hr 15 mins. And I really enjoyed it.

Then it was time to do the grocery shopping. I had planned to bring my morning snack to eat after my walk, but forgot. No problem. I just bought some individual cheese serves and a bag of baby carrots. I also bought some strawberries, but then I asked myself - am I doing this carb cycling diet or am I not? And my answer was that I am. So I have kept the strawberries for tomorrow, when I can eat them without guilt. I sat outside the supermarket and ate my cheese and a couple of carrots, then got on with the shopping. I noticed that although they don't have Christmas decorations up yet, they did have Christmas themed foods available - little plum puddings and festive cakes. Since we don't do Thanksgiving or Halloween here, there is nothing for a long time after Easter. Christmas starts very early!

By the time I got home and made and ate lunch, it was well after 2:00. Nearly time for the kids to get home. No writing today.

Breakfast was roast beef, cucumber and tomato. And tea.

Then I remembered I have carbs with breakfast, even on a low carb day. So I had an apple. I only ate half, I was too full.

No photo of my morning snack at the shops. Lunch was chicken breast, mushrooms and onion, finished with a dash of cream. (I didn't eat it all.) It was really delicious. And tea. And half a mug of a new batch of vegetable broth.

 

My afternoon snack was some cashews with a cucumber and a small carrot. The cucumber looks like it has been on The Biggest Loser, it has a waist! Or maybe it wanted to grow up to be a skittle in a bowling alley.

 

Dinner was bolognaise with zoodles.

 

A very good day in terms of food and exercise. I do feel like I'm missing a bit of life balance, though. The whole day was spent planning, purchasing and preparing food, eating healthy food, or exercise. All important things. But I didn't get any "work" done. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.