I hate shopping for clothes, because nothing looks good on me. I don't bother much, until I absolutely have to, like when my jeans wear through at the thighs. I'll wait until I am thin, right?
I was thinking last night about an upcoming "dressy" party and how I have nothing to wear for it. I know I don't still fit into my fancier clothes. I felt quite sad about it. Then I went hunting through my cupboard and found two really dressy tops that I bought a couple of years ago, that still fit me but I had forgotten about over winter. With jeans and boots I'll be ok. Not as formal as I would like to be, but good enough.
I went to bed happy, knowing I had something to wear to the party. And realised that no matter what my current size, I need to have clothes that I am reasonably happy to wear in a variety of situations. Not just a T-shirt. Something that fits the occasion, not just my stomach. I can't put off buying clothes forever, waiting to be perfect. I have to live now, as I am, and make the best I can of how I am at the moment. Shopping can be hard, and depressing, and I am still not going to do it very often, but I need to make sure I have what I need. Like maybe something other than blue jeans to go with my pretty tops and boots.
I was feeling a bit unwell yesterday and today I feel awful. I seem to lurch from one illness to the next at the moment. I can't use my CPAP most nights because of a blocked nose and sore throat and sometimes nausea, all of which having air blown up your nose makes worse. And being tired and run down doesn't help me get better quickly. But I'll manage it in the end. I always do.