Saturday:
We were supposed to drive to Sydney last night, a 3.5--4 hour journey, but because I was unwell we decided to wait until this morning and leave early. We needed to get there by 11 today. I went to bed at 7:30 last night, before the kids, to give myself the best chance. Unfortunately this morning I was still feeling sick, so they had to go without me. I am a bit disappointed, I'll be missing some fun stuff and I also worry about Tim having to do all the driving alone, but mainly just feeling sick. Not enough to need someone to look after me, I just need to sleep or watch TV, so I am fine with them going.
Today I have four thoughts about food circling like sharks:
1. I don't feel like eating much, just some toast and instant soup will do. We have those. Anything else will probably make me feel worse.
2. Being alone in the house means I can eat whatever I want without anyone knowing. Secret eating.
3. Secret eating is why I am overweight. I need to stop doing that.
4. I wasn't expecting anyone to be home this weekend (and was also too sick for past couple of days) and didn't shop, so there is hardly any food here. Tim has the car. I won't have a lot of choice about what I'm going to eat, unless I feel well enough to walk to the shops, which I don't.
Which takes me back to point 1. You'd think being sick would shut off all the other thoughts about food, but no. I use food as a panacea for everything. Including an upset stomach and sore throat which are part of my current symptoms. I am 100% a comfort eater. Tired, sad, bored, sad, happy, excited, anxious, queasy - food calms and fixes everything! Except it usually doesn't. Except bored. It always fixes bored. Because it's a party in my mouth.
Ok I'm rambling a bit now and I haven't even taken any medication.
Sorry you're sick Natalie. That's such a shame that you've missed out on family time this weekend.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about using food as a panacea. I too find when I'm sick, eating is my medicine. And unfortunately, all I feel like eating is potato chips. My usual pattern is two-three days of eating potato chips (and drinking tomato juice), then I know I'm on the mend again when I start to crave vegetables. I can usually stand to have chicken soup for dinner when I'm sick, made as a clear soup with carrot, celery and onion.
My theory is that my body decides to crave salty foods to encourage me to drink water and 'flush out' the virus. Then of course, my body needs to replace the vitamins, minerals so that's why I start to want vegetables again. *shrugs* Or else, it's a pattern I've developed and am not sure how to break.
Oh! and point 2? One of my favourite "weightloss" sayings is "What you eat in private, shows in public". It's pretty clever, and so, so true, no? It reminds me that I can kid myself all I want that I eat healthy, or that just grabbing HJ's on the way home is no biggie, but really, the results show on my body. Just one more thing I've gotta to relearn/retrain my brain to think about.
But we'll keep persevering and we'll get there, right? Just gotta keep at it. : )
I know, it's crazy to think that if no-one sees me eat it, it doesn't count somehow! I'm working on it.
ReplyDeleteFood has the remarkable ability to convince you that it will make you feel better only to really make you feel worse the moment you finish.
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