Thursday, February 12, 2015

Cheat meal

Thursday:

I've decided that I don't like the term "cheat meal" - which implies you are doing something naughty even though it is a planned part of your nutrition plan. Or "reward meal" which implies you have somehow earned the right to eat junk. If this six month dietbet is practice for the rest of my life, then it will include eating at restaurants, having the occasional dessert or piece of cake, eating an ice cream on a hot day, and some high-quality chocolate given by people who know I love it. None of which is "cheating" or "reward". It's just part of the balance of an enjoyable life.

But half a pizza because I'm too tired to cook shouldn't really be part of a balanced life. I can make better choices than that.

Another bad night left me pretty dopey today. My exercise was a half-hour walk. I did some work on my book then was too sleepy to keep my eyes open. I lay on the lounge and faded away for a while. Once the kids were home I did very little for the rest of the afternoon. I ate way too much, leaving me with only a couple of hundred calories for dinner. I was tired and couldn't face cooking, and didn't have the car, and pizza is about the only thing that delivers around here. I'm kind of ok with takeaway very occasionally, what I am not ok with is me eating half a pizza. And a piece of garlic bread. And a chocolate lava cake. A horrendous amount of unnecessary calories. I wasn't hungry, I was tired.

I'm not sure if I am, strictly speaking, an emotional eater. Neither happiness nor sadness particularly send me to food, although I think stress might. But boredom definitely does. And what I see again and again is that when I am tired I look to food for energy and lose my sense of when to stop eating.

I don't know what to do other than keep working on my sleep, which I suppose means trying the CPAP again. The weather has cooled a bit which should help. But sleep apnoea isn't my only problem, I also have a lot of trouble getting to sleep and have all my life since early childhood. I feel a bit hopeless about it tonight.

Tim is finishing a huge project at work and got home at midnight last night. I hope he's not so late tonight. He doesn't have my sleep issues, he's asleep when his head hits the pillow, but still he must be tired. He'll be working through most of the weekend but then it should be finished and back to normal.

Report card:
Diet: Terrible. Unhealthy salty food and way over my calorie limit.
Exercise: Fair.
Water: Poor. Only half what I should have had.
Sleep: Poor.
Mental health: Poor. Despondent.

Luckily tomorrow is a new day.

7 comments:

  1. I prefer the term "unrestricted meal". It doesn't have any negative connotations to it and it doesn't suggest your rewarding yourself with food.

    I used to have the same problems with falling asleep; I would lay awake for hours and it was like I couldn't "turn off". My sleep doctor told me that it was my brain trying to protect itself from the apnea. after 6 months with the CPAP I stopped having issues falling asleep. I know it's a pain to use, but after a while you get used to it (or at least I did).

    Tomorrow IS a new day... hit the reset button on today and start fresh!

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    1. That's interesting about the sleep apnoea stopping you falling asleep, I hadn't heard that. I hope that improves for me with CPAP use or losing weight.

      My kids' school labels it "sometimes food" which I think is pretty good.

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  2. Hi Natalie!
    I lost 120lbs a few years ago and over those "few years ago", I've reluctantly gained back 80lbs of it! I point no fingers at anyone but myself. I'm trying to see food and deal with my over-eating differently this time. I'm not using the "cheat" meal thing. I don't ever want things to become so strict that I feel I need the need to "cheat". For me, once I cheat, games over.
    When I move, I am okay. When I stop exercising, it's easy for me to pack on the pounds. I had a couple of surgeries over the last 2-3 years (thankfully nothing major) and when I was forced to do "nothing" but heal for 6-8 weeks, I lost everything I gained. I got depressed and with that I ate. And ate. And ate! So, now it's new strategies. I force myself to question everything I put in my mouth and why. Some days are easy and some are hard. It's life. God blessed me with only one life, it's truly a wonderful life even with it's ups and downs, so I strive to train for living!
    Hope your journey goes well!

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    1. Hi Diana, thanks for commenting. I agree that when "cheat" I feel like I've blown the whole diet. Not a good term. But I'm not really ready for what some people call intuitive eating. I prefer preplanning the day before and sticking to that, not making decisions on the spot.

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    2. Pre-planning is key! Cooking all our own meals are best. Cooking for some, myself included, can be scary...but to take the time to learn from someone is the most beneficial thing you can do in weight loss!

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  3. Sounds like you had Domino's, I must admit I used to over-indulge in their menu regularly this time last year. I could polish off a box and a half of a medium pizza (two and a half if thin crust), with room for half a 2 liter of Fanta, and two lava cakes....

    I'm glad I'm passed that now, and moving on, and you could have done a lot worse (considering all the options they have). Hope things turn around for you in the coming days.

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