Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Oh, brother


We spent most of the day driving. Before we left this morning, just in case, I sent an email to my brother saying no one could contact him so they were all bugging me but I couldn't either, and did he want to be a pallbearer and when was he arriving etc and could he please call someone. 

So about 2pm he called my mobile, I was driving so Tim answered. Darren has decided not to come. My brother is not coming to his own father's funeral. There is no estrangement or anything like that, it's just that Darren is a useless selfish bastard who can't be bothered. I spoke to him briefly after I pulled over, but had no interest in prolonging the conversation. 

On his side of the argument, it is a ten hour drive for him and he doesn't have anyone to share the driving or keep him company. On the other side, it is his father's funeral! He'd been thinking about catching a train here, I don't know why he abandoned that idea and I didn't ask, except that he did say it was a long way to come just for one day then turn around and go back again! He had asked Tim to bring back some photos of dad for him, and also dad's mobile phone to replace his unreliable cheap one. Unbelievable. I get a strong premonition that I'm going to forget to fulfil these requests. 

You may have noticed I'm a bit annoyed with him. So often I've just decided to totally give up on him, but then no, he's my brother. But I'm not going to cater to his requests when he makes no effort whatsoever for other people.


  1. I don't know if it was intentional, but I already had the idea that your brother was a bit selfish, if not callus, by some of your writing. You seemed to deliberately write very little of him, and the fact that he made it so difficult to get in contact with him in spite of the of the year your family has faced.

    Anyways, maybe he will regret it, maybe not, try not to stress yourself too much with it. I just want to say I think your are handling all the things going on in your life lately really well.

  2. I got more of the impression that your brother may have some mental health issues as opposed to being selfish. If that's the case, I have a lot of compassion for him. I'm glad you've got your husband and kids to help you cope with your dad's death. I hope someone will be there for your brother.

    1. He does indeed have obsessive compulsive disorder and is a hoarder, and I try to have compassion for him. But added to his issues, he is very selfish. And it's hard to "be there for him" when he makes it impossible to contact him.