Nineteen: chocolate

Saturday:

I am such an emotional eater. (No I didn't give in.) I'm on day seven on a streak of clean low-carb low-calorie eating, I've passed the hunger pangs and the carb cravings and into what seemed like smoother waters. But as soon as the littlest thing happens I want to go and eat junk!

It was just a hug. The mother of Jasmine's friend from her sleepover is friendly, talkative, and very physical. I am not a huggy person, at all. And from an almost-stranger, who is also sweaty and wearing minimal clothing (a singlet top, no sleeves), a hug is emotional torture to me. The worst part was that I knew another one was coming. A hug of greeting, then all through the conversation knowing she was going to hug me again at the end, as she talked about how humid it was and how sweaty she was, the talking on and on while I could hardly concentrate and the stress levels were rising. Trying to minimise the huge bear hug of farewell without being rude. Urg. I was all unsettled and wanted to comfort myself with food but I didn't. A silly incident but it just shows how vulnerable I am to wanting to stress eat.

I ate well all day, and in the evening I decided it was time to have some of the special chocolates Tim gave me earlier in the week. (It seems bit odd to me, in hindsight, that I'm not allowed to have chocolate when I really really want it, only when I feel in control and don't want it so much. Or was I fooling myself?) A bit of a risky experiment, I suppose, but I'm not yet prepared to say I'll never eat chocolate again. I ate three. The first one was lovely, second one nice, third made me feel sick. I stared at a fourth for quite a while but but then put them away. Now the real test is how I feel tomorrow.

B: chicken, cheese, cucumber, tomato, tea.
L: salmon, cashew and vegetable stir fry.
D: steak, salad, wom bok, beetroot.
S: chocolate.