Saturday, April 16, 2016

Nineteen: chocolate


I am such an emotional eater. (No I didn't give in.) I'm on day seven on a streak of clean low-carb low-calorie eating, I've passed the hunger pangs and the carb cravings and into what seemed like smoother waters. But as soon as the littlest thing happens I want to go and eat junk!

It was just a hug. The mother of Jasmine's friend from her sleepover is friendly, talkative, and very physical. I am not a huggy person, at all. And from an almost-stranger, who is also sweaty and wearing minimal clothing (a singlet top, no sleeves), a hug is emotional torture to me. The worst part was that I knew another one was coming. A hug of greeting, then all through the conversation knowing she was going to hug me again at the end, as she talked about how humid it was and how sweaty she was, the talking on and on while I could hardly concentrate and the stress levels were rising. Trying to minimise the huge bear hug of farewell without being rude. Urg. I was all unsettled and wanted to comfort myself with food but I didn't. A silly incident but it just shows how vulnerable I am to wanting to stress eat.

I ate well all day, and in the evening I decided it was time to have some of the special chocolates Tim gave me earlier in the week. (It seems bit odd to me, in hindsight, that I'm not allowed to have chocolate when I really really want it, only when I feel in control and don't want it so much. Or was I fooling myself?) A bit of a risky experiment, I suppose, but I'm not yet prepared to say I'll never eat chocolate again. I ate three. The first one was lovely, second one nice, third made me feel sick. I stared at a fourth for quite a while but but then put them away. Now the real test is how I feel tomorrow.

B: chicken, cheese, cucumber, tomato, tea.
L: salmon, cashew and vegetable stir fry.
D: steak, salad, wom bok, beetroot.
S: chocolate.


  1. Well, I can certainly understand your stress. I don't like when strangers get overly physical with me. That's overdoing it. Touching my arm or patting my hand is more than enough from someone I don't know well enough.

    1. And I'm the one who is rude if I try to dodge it!

  2. OK on my check list - No hug for Natalie LOL

    The last time I played Pickelball in Florida, I told my friends that I was going back North. What do you think happen... hugs sigh we had just played hours of sport, next year, I'm not going to tell anyone that it's my last day :)

    For the chocolate you have to be really careful... it's kind of a lost lost situation. Like for myself, if I eat some, I feel great and the following day if I check my weight and it didn't register my little escaping in sweetness... I'll have more. If it register something, I get depressed and eat some... lose lose!

    1. At least you were all sweaty too, or does that make no difference?

      I agree about the chocolate being risky, as I write the following morning it did not have a bad effect on my weight so does that mean I can eat chocolate every day!? lol, no. Once a week is what I am aiming for.