Four: temptation

Friday:

I was feeling better yesterday, but much worse today. Bleugh. Not just lack of sleep, but I also didn't sleep well. My peri-menopause tablets say to reduce the dose (from four a day) once your symptoms are under control, but any time I take less than four - either deliberately or because I forget - symptoms return straight away. Worse sleep and weird dreams last night. I think I'll stick to four for a while. But mainly I think it's just this headcold refusing to budge. Feel sick and miserable. And I had to do a little shopping, and managed to crush my fingers in the freezer door at the supermarket. Great day.

I have a confession to make. After posting last night's blog, I started to think about chocolate. I struggled with it for at least an hour, determined to stay strong, but eventually gave in and ate half a chocolate bunny. "They" say cravings fade if you resist them for 5 or 10 mins or whatever and do something else, maybe that works sometimes but certainly not all the time for me. The desire just gets stronger. The moment of giving in was interesting, from an outside point of view; I felt sudden relief and delight, excitement, my mouth started watering, and I enjoyed the chocolate so much!

If this whole episode was due to some underlying addiction (and it did feel like that, both the craving and the indulgence) then presumably I will go through this again in another few days. Any ideas for conquering it? Small dose to wean myself off? It was evening, I probably should have just gone to bed instead of trying to distract myself.

....later

My meals were good today but I had a huge "snack" in the afternoon including the rest of that chocolate bunny. Wasn't hungry, just tired and sick. It is just after 8pm, I'm going to have a bath and go to bed and hope I feel better tomorrow.

What I ate:
Breakfast: bacon, cucumber, tomato, tea.
Lunch: chicken, grapes.
Snack: chocolate, watermelon, cheese sandwich.
Dinner: steak, salad.

Water: 4 cups. Dismal.

Good night.