Friday, April 22, 2016

Twenty five: resisting


I slept poorly with more bad dreams (but no night sweats) and struggled to get up. And struggled through the morning. I think my hormones are all over the place. I was feeling pretty headachy and tired and cranky and miserable. I had yoghurt and fruit for breakfast, and even though I was full it didn't satisfy me today. So I had some bacon (mmm, salty). And tea with a teensy bit of sugar (a third of a teaspoon). Not enough to taste sweet, but enough to balance the bitterness so it's drinkable. I might go with that for a while, but then again I might feel all energetic and virtuous tomorrow and change back. Who knows? I certainly don't.

We did the grocery shopping and I seriously considered having a "day off", a binge, just eating whatever. I felt yuck so I needed it, right? I DESERVED junk food to make me feel better. The big breakfast saved me. I think if I'd been even the slightest bit hungry or unsatisfied I would have given in. But I was able to resist. I told myself I could have some dark chocolate at home later if I wanted, but no junk from the shops. (I did indeed have a couple of squares of dark chocolate later.)

All day I had slightly bigger meals than usual and so went over my calorie budget for the day. That doesn't worry me so much. I know some people start with a strict calorie budget then gradually refine what they eat (hi Sean!) and that works well for them. I approach things from the opposite direction. I am more concerned with what I eat than how much I eat. Obviously I need to reduce calories to lose weight, but to be healthy I need to cut right down on processed food, added sugars, trans fats - and eat more fresh fruit and vegetables, healthy fats like nuts, and so on. I would rather have a day when I went over my calorie budget like today but all (even the bacon and the dark chocolate) within the general confines of the Mediterranean diet, than stick to a certain number of calories but all in the form of doughnuts and Doritos.

B: yoghurt with passionfruit, bacon, tea.
L: rotisserie chicken thigh, cucumber.
S: chocolate, tea.
D: steak, fried onion, salad.


  1. Because of Jen, I have no guilt when eating bacon, or nuts. Because now I believe fat is not such a big enemy. However, I wouldn't rush to fill up on bacon right now if I was you. You have found something that is working for you.

    Have you try Stevia? This is from a natural plant, unlike sugar, it is not process in your liver. It could give you back some of the sweetness you seems to crave with your tea but without the risk of sugar substitute like saccharin.

    You are doing so great!

    1. I totally agree that fat is not the enemy! But bacon is full of salt and various other things they cure it in, processed meat isn't great for you so I don't have it too often. Maybe a couple of times a week.

      I have tried Stevia before and I'm considering giving it another go. But it tastes nothing like sugar!

  2. How about honey? Have you ever tried honey in your tea? Just a tiny bit adds sweetness. I've gotten used to drinking my tea black but a long time ago I used to add a couple of drops of honey and it did the trick. I think you're doing great. It's not easy to stay focused all the time.

    1. I've never really liked honey - because it's so sweet lol! But maybe I should try a little bit in tea. At least it wouldn't be heavily processed. But it would definitely add a honey flavour which might be weird. Hmm, worth trying. A tiny bit.