My weight was a tiny bit up this morning. I feared much worse. I've decided to reframe my three days of stumbles. Because you know what? I started a new diet while quite nastily sick (and Tim sick too and now Jasmine has come down with it) but it doesn't affect appetite AND with a houseful of leftover Easter chocolate AND my hormones seem all messed up because I've had my period for eleven days and counting but I've still lost weight every day except today - quite a significant amount in fact. So I'm calling it a win against the odds instead of a fail because I'm not perfect.
I seem to be having these worry/frustration dreams even when not having night sweats, now. Just about every night, often several a night. It's starting to concern me a bit. Am I so full of stress and anger? Some of the more memorable include Jasmine being pregnant at twelve, being caught in a tidal wave, getting angry with Aiden because he was trying to reverse park the car and not doing a good job (he's nine), my mother being really annoying and me telling her to f*ck off (a scenario even more unlikely than the others, even if she was still alive).
Last night's dream was funny enough to relate, although it was annoying to experience. I was trying to get guests to the house help me remember how to use the weird toilets here. There was one in a cupboard up high above the fridge that I wasn't sure how to get to. There was one in a kitchen drawer that I was very puzzled by - I showed the guest, and it turned out to be a teacup, with a teabag in it, in a box. The two guests weren't paying much attention to me because they were watching a TV sports show that involved people dressed up as horses, so they weren't helping. Frustrating.
And then I was putting on a pair of cream coloured jeans but when I got them on they were normal blue and were also too tight so I was looking for the cream ones and frustrated that I would have to take off my hiking boots to change again.
I won't bore you with more. But is this normal to have so many like this? I'm not aware of being concerned about anything other than my health during the day. Maybe everyone has them all the time but most people don't remember their dreams. I remember a lot of them at the moment because I wake frequently during the night.
Anyway, did well today. Had guests for dinner so ate a little more than usual. Still feeling pretty tired and yuck, but a lot better than yesterday.
What I ate:
Breakfast: Yoghurt and raspberries, tea.
Lunch: Homemade tomato soup. Mixed nuts.
Snack: Cheese, tea.
Dinner: Pork ribs, salad, potato, cheesecake.
Water: eleven cups.