Down

Wednesday:

We brought four fruit trees in pots with us in the move, one died but the peach tree has set fruit which is lovely.

Although that could be a sign it is dying and this is its last-ditch effort to reproduce! If that is the case, it's not as dramatic "dying" as the other one that shrivelled up and went brown all over.  This one looks pretty perky.

Jasmine and I are both feeling better today. I'm not even sure if I was sick. Without the illicit chocolate, I am eating pretty low carb (almost entirely from vegetables and fruit, occasionally other things like a bit of quinoa or one taco shell) and that tends to mess with my mood and energy levels, but "they" say if you keep on you get used it when your body switches over to burning fat instead. I have tried many diets, lifestyle changes, whatever you want to call them, and reducing carbs seems to be the only way I lose weight so I am trying to push through this rather depressing period.

I am fighting hard for my health here. Other times I have given up at this point because it didn't seem worth it being miserable just to lose weight. But it is worth it if the difficult part is only for a short time. This is not just about vanity, although that is certainly part of it, it is about insulin resistance, sleep apnoea, sore joints, high risk of heart attack and stroke. It is about my life.

I also always struggle a bit in school holidays when I don't get much time to myself. I don't want the family to go away for long - just a little while!

I kid myself that eating healthy would be easier if I was alone here, without home-made choc chip cupcakes sitting on the counter, but given my history of overeating mostly when bored and lonely that is probably nonsense. If I was home alone I'd find something else to eat.

We walked up to the library in the afternoon. The exercise did make me feel a tiny bit better emotionally, but horribly overheated. I was glad to be home to air conditioning. I had a long cool shower then listened to Headspace before making dinner.

Three days in a row of completely sticking to my diet plan.

Breakfast was taco salad (without the taco shells). Why not?

Lunch was rainbow chicken stir fry.

Dinner was peanut beef with Asian vegetables.

I am certainly eating plenty of food, and most of it is very tasty. Not having between-meal snacks is weird for me. Usually even if I am on a strict diet I organise it so I can have a little snack in the afternoon, probably in the morning too. And sometimes the evening! But I am eating huge amounts of vegetables and they are very filling, they seem to keep me full until close to the next meal when I can convince myself to wait another hour. If I am psychologically desperate for something, I have a cup of tea.

Water intake was bad today. Always something. This weight-loss thing is a full time job.