Saturday, January 16, 2016

Missing out on life


Not a great day. Nothing terrible happened, except I felt tired and bit unwell all day again. It could be the low carb, but at present as long as my weight is going down I feel like it's worth it. It's not like I feel that perky overweight and eating junk food anyway! I'm prepared to feel like this for a bit longer for the good of my long term health. It's a bit hard on my family while we are all home together and I never have the energy to do fun stuff, and I often wonder if I should have started after everyone was bad at school/work, but no. My motivation was now, I had to start while I could. I do wish I had more energy though.

Or it could be lack of sleep due to my sleep apnoea and difficulty getting to sleep in the first place and then waking up early. Or reside of the virus. I don't know. But I know I spent far too many days sitting at home feeling like I'm missing out on life, but too tired to do anything about it. Is it too much to ask that going out with my family isn't too high a mountain to climb?

The diet didn't go so well today. Lunch was a bit ill-advised, I didn't check calories before I ate and then I ate more than twice as much as I had planned - I was really hungry and it was yummy - so I ended up over my calorie limit by the end of lunchtime! And that is not even counting picking the crispy bits out of the pan. Then I was feeling a bit sick and had a nap, then when I woke up I ate a bowl of ice cream. And had some cheese and crackers. Strange weakening of the resolve. So at this point I'm way over my limit. I could have decided not to eat for the rest of the day, but I don't do that. A few hundred extra calories isn't going to ruin my weight loss. It was a lapse, move on. Reset from this moment, good choices from this moment, had the normal healthy dinner I planned.

Oh, and the ice cream was delicious, but didn't magically make me feel any better.

Pouring rain again much of the day so I didn't get out for a walk, didn't feel up to anything else.

Overwhelmed and frustrated and sad.

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